The Black Rage (Empathy, Understanding, and the Sons of Sanginius)

Voting ends Sunday, 11/16, for Corsair Radio's Six Word Short Story Contest. You can vote using the polling widget on the right of this post. Make sure to pick your favorite story and vote before then!

Art is so important to us because it can serve as a mirror, reflecting how we view our world. I think that I love science fiction and fantasy so much because it allows me to confront my own fears outside of the real world. I can enjoy stories full of anxiety and emotion and still feel protected, guarded from my own personal daemons. I can see these fantasy worlds through the eyes of characters (Aragorn, Spock, Han Solo) who struggle, but still persevere and make the most of every moment. The Blood Angels, my new 40k passion project, are no different.

I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. I check to make sure the door is locked three times before I go to bed, I envision my escape from nearly every location I enter, and I worry about my loved ones constantly. All that said, I still live a very happy life (a beautiful wife, two kids, a good job, and all the miniatures my 17 year old heart could desire). But, this specter of anxiety almost always follows me. These emotions are what draws me to the Blood Angels.

I just finished Deus Encarmine, by James Swallow, and I began to see that myself and Rafen, the protagonist, weren't so different. He is a loyal servant to the Emperor and his Chapter, but still a speculative man under the constant fear that The Black Rage will overtake him. That he will succumb  to "The Flaw" inside of him. Personally, I find this really inspiring. Amidst this great fear, Rafen and his brothers are still able to put their lives on the line for what they believe in. They persevere.

Now, I don't believe that my anxiety is anything like reliving the death of Sanginius (hell, I don't even have a primarch). And, this is all a part of a fantasy universe. There are real people who suffer and overcome things much greater than I will ever know, whose strength does and always will inspire me. Rafen and the Blood Angels's inner strength really adds to my hobbying life. When I model, paint, and play with my toys I relax. Like a long, deep breath. When I read on my morning commute, it is my meditation. I hope that when you enjoy this hobby, you can find the same peace. 

Until next time!